J.K. Rowling would like you to stop crushing on Draco Malfoy now.

J.K. Rowling would like you to stop crushing on Draco Malfoy now. | Dearest Geeks of EarthAfter days of underwhelming new “content,” J.K. Rowling has finally revealed something good. Because Draco Malfoy’s backstory.

The new piece, which J.K. Rowling just released on her fansite, Pottermore, is eleventy mabillion times longer (and better) than the randomness we’ve been reading, and tells all about Draco’s upbringing and more importantly, why he became the bully Potter fans loved to love. Er, hate. It’s confusing.

“Draco has all the dark glamour of the anti-hero; girls are very apt to romanticize such people,” Rowling writes. “All of this left me in the unenviable position of pouring cold common sense on ardent readers’ daydreams, as I told them, rather severely, that Draco was not concealing a heart of gold under all that sneering and prejudice and that no, he and Harry were not destined to end up best friends.”

“Draco remains a person of dubious morality in the seven published books, and I have often had cause to remark on how unnerved I have been by the number of girls who fell for this particular fictional character,” writes Rowling, noting that actor Tom Felton, “who plays Draco brilliantly in the films and, ironically, is about the nicest person you could meet.”

Rowling also offers a glimpse into Draco’s future, revealing that the character “grew up to lead a modified version of his father’s existence; independently wealthy, without any need to work, Draco inhabits Malfoy Manor with his wife and son [Scorpius].”

He is married to the younger sister of a fellow Slytherin, Astoria Greengrass, who Rowling says “had gone through a similar (though less violent and frightening) conversion from pure-blood ideals to a more tolerant life view,” and who is felt by Draco’s parents, Narcissa and Lucius, “to be something of a disappointment as a daughter-in-law.”

“As Astoria refused to raise their grandson Scorpius in the belief that Muggles were scum, family gatherings were often fraught with tension,” Rowling writes, noting that she believes Draco has a “dual nature.”

“His strange interest in alchemical manuscripts, from which he never attempts to make a Philosopher’s Stone, hints at a wish for something other than wealth, perhaps even the wish to be a better man. I have high hopes that he will raise Scorpius to be a much kinder and more tolerant Malfoy than he was in his own youth,” she writes, ending: “His Christian name comes from a constellation – the dragon – and yet his wand core is of unicorn. This was symbolic. There is, after all – and at the risk of rekindling unhealthy fantasies – some unextinguished good at the heart of Draco.”

Happy Christmas, Potterheads.

Photo credits: Warner Bros. 

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