50 thoughts you had while watching the Golden Globes last night.

50 thoughts you had while watching the Golden Globes last night. | Dearest Geeks of EarthMore “casual dinner party” than “uptight awards ceremony,” the Golden Globes and their open bar are basically the funky little sister of the Oscars.

Here’s 50 things we all thought about while watching:

  1. Let the caged boob sing seems to be the theme tonight.
  2. Anyone start a Twitter account for Amal Clooney’s elbow gloves yet?
  3. Why is Matthew McConaughey pretending to be a Civil War general?
  4. Amal Clooney’s side eye is on point tonight. Giuliana Rancic knows.
  5. Oh, Jeremy Renner.
  6. “Who Would You Rather” is THE ONLY way anyone should ever start off an awards show.
  7. I’d Firth a polite amount of time too.
  8. Why does Jennifer Aniston always look like she smelled a fart?
  9. Oh, Benedict Cumberbatch. Your dorky, otter-like charm continues to capture hearts everywhere. Never change.
  10. MRS. BATES!
  12. Well said, Theo Kingma. Everyone just realized everyone else is standing up to clap for you.
  13. And the award for Seat Farthest Away From The Stage goes to… Gina Rodriguez!
  14. Vince Vaughn’s tuxedo and shiny hair game is strong.
  15. All the A-listers are losing their sh*t. Because Prince.
  16. His outfit would have been so much better with a Lando Calrissian cape, even if he looks like Prince doing an SNL sketch about Prince as Yetta Rosenberg.
  17. Ricky Gervais should always happen.
  18. Salma Hayek looks like a gorgeous cake topper.
  19. I want to be Kate Hudson’s sideboob.
  20. We haven’t seen Tina and Amy in a while. Did they leave with Prince and his pimp cane? Seems plausible.
  21. Digging Kristin Wigg and Bill Hader as 70s prom-goers.
  22. Benedict Cumberbatch is my spirit animal.
  23. Anyone else think Jared Leto with a beard is kind of like Katy Perry with a beard?
  24. Pretty sure the tiny Golden Globes’ stage design was inspired by Superman’s Fortress of Solitude.
  25. All the hi-fives to Jeffrey Tambor for dedicating his award to the transgender community.
  26. Bob Iger sitting next to Meryl Streep is dangerously close to trying too hard.
  27. Digging Colin Farrell with a twirly Burt Reynolds mustache. Even if he looks like he could tie me to some train tracks.
  28. (Upon seeing Paul Rudd:) CRAP BAG!
  29. Too many people looked momentarily alarmed and/or exchanged knowing looks when hearing “the affair.” Hollywood, ladies + gents.
  30. There are literally too many shiny, happy people. WHERE HAS ALL THE POWDER GONE?!
  31. Why is Katherine Heigl talking?
  32. Anyone else kind of love that Pacey and Joey are in the same room tonight?
  33. Kevin Spacey scurrs me a little. I have a feeling the skeletons in his closet might be more literal than figurative.
  34. I’ve never seen so many good-looking sweaty people. Runny spray tans and pit stains spreading EVERYWHERE!
  35. Clive Owen is probably regretting that velvet suit right about now. Because heat stroke.
  36. If they don’t acknowledge Clooney’s work in The Golden Girls
  37. Betcha his hands are kitten soft.
  38. Aww… turns out he’s a romantic after all.
  39. But if he’s such a great humanitarian, why hasn’t he done anything about the creepy GE monster?
  40. Is #Letobraid trending yet?
  41. Harrison Ford is everything. So when’s his earring going to win something?
  42. Anna Faris and Chris Pratt win at humans.
  43. OMG. I just realized the bags under my eyes make me look like Joaquin Phoenix.
  44. Of course Michael Keaton won. He’s BATMAN.
  45. Do you think all the Batmans hang out together, share cough drops and giggle?
  47. Bow ties are cool.
  48. And now, to ruin the night… GOOP.
  49. Eddie Redmayne and his cheekbones are LEGIT.
  50. Meryl Streep points out the obvious: you can never have too much Tina and Amy.

Photo credits: Golden Globes

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *